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Ego控制VS體重控制?!

這一年多來,我們夫妻兩在閒暇時間的休閒活動,就是在每天晚餐後,手拿一碗爆米花或是其他點心,坐在銀幕前,觀看一集美劇【The Apprentice】台灣翻譯是”誰是接班人”,大陸翻譯叫”學徒”,然後在之後做關於領導力相關的討論(誰是接班人~領導力學習 )。最近我們看到了第十四季美國明星賽的其中一個參賽者,已經七十歲的年紀了還愛現,為了爭取自已愛秀表現上鏡的機會,不惜只穿著內褲拿著啞鈴在自已的隊友面前走來走去,試圖吸引目光。此場景看得我不可思議地張大了嘴巴:『老公,是不是年紀越大,自我的膨脹程度就會越大?』

『大概吧。』

『有沒有可能年紀越大,自我越小?!』我問

『妳可以用此做為自已的目標啊!』老公說。

weight-loss_67879417  

 監視體重的情況,是我一年多來的習慣。今年訂下了新年計劃之後,就開始進行了相對嚴格的運動及飲食計劃。我發現體重控制和自我EGO的控制,有些異曲同功之妙。體重控制有原則可以遵行:除了最基本的少吃多運動之外,為了健康,更要注意攝取什麼,攝取多少份量和比重,特別注意某些食物是危險份子(比如糖類、脂油、澱粉)要多注意其動向。更重要的是每日都要願意站上體重機接受檢驗,然後願意接受現實,繼續努力。

EGO的大小,就和體重的高低一樣,是一個隨時流動的數字。體重長期過高,各種指數呈現危險狀態,就容易引發各樣的心血管等疾病,同樣的,自我過於高漲,人際關係就容易呈現脆弱的狀態,通常就是婚姻破碎、人際關係崩離、工作升遷停滯等等的警鐘。

雖然監控自已的Ego和驕傲不見得像是監控體重一樣那麼方法明確,但是原則倒是相同的。要願意照著聖經的原則來過生活,在人際關係中操練治死老我。要願意打開耳朵來傾聽建言(特別是那些很剌耳的建言)接受回應,然後要透過每日與神同行,追想自已一天的言行,常常來認罪悔改。驕傲就像是口臭一樣,通常是週圍的人都知道了,而自已卻是最後一個發現的人。在自我的體積大小的呈現不像體重機那麼的容易被測量,但是仍然有跡可尋。比方說:婚姻關係的經營成效如何?和親子的關係質量如何?自我和驕傲,通常受損傷的首先是婚姻、人際關係,再來是自已的工作。

體重控制不好,最多不好看,影響自已的健康,長期下來就可能拖累家人要照顧(特別是年老以後),而自我控制不好,不但影響了寶貴的人際關係,破壞了人生的幸福感,更可能會隔離了與神的親近(驕傲是撒但被趕離天堂的原因),嚴重起來,可能在年老的時侯面對孤單寂然,貧病無人問的結果。下面是一篇文章講到自我過大的負面效應:

  1. 1.      A Big Ego Is a Bad Version of High Self-Esteem

過大的自我是高自尊的另一個負面的版本

  1. 2.      Egos Turn People Off

自我過強會使人失去與你互動與合作的意願。

  1. 3.      Egos Get in the Way of Good Judgment

過強的自我會阻礙好的判斷能力。

  1. 4.      Egos Stop You From Respecting Differing Opinions

過大的自我會阻礙尊重不同意見的能力

  1. 5.      Egos Value Power Over Trust

自我會重視權力甚於信任

  1. 6.      Egos Are Rooted in Self-Doubt

過強自我的根源是因為沒有自信及自我懷疑

身為神的子民,特別是神國的僕人,控制自已的驕傲比控制體重要重要的太多了。幸虧,只要是在教會中服侍,有領導職份的人,總有許多的機會來面對人際關係的衝突與衝撞,至少在婚姻關係中也有不少治死老我,把自我釘上十字架的機會。在我花時間精力來監控體重的同時 我也要更多的下心思,發展出一套監控EGO大小的機制,來幫助自已,讓驕傲退散,自我維持在健康的大小,才不會因為幾次的放縱暴飲暴食之下,體重及自我一下子就突然高漲、爆表失去平衡,危及自已的身體健康以及屬靈的健康!

BIG EGO  

以下引用文章出自:

This Is Why You Can’t Let Your Ego Decide for Your Career

It’s good for you to take pride in your successes, but having too big an ego can be extremely detrimental to your career. If your actions are motivated by self-importance, then you’re doomed to fail. You might not fail right away, but ego is eventually going to catch up to you and damage your career in ways you can’t heal. Read below to learn why your ego is so dangerous, and what you can do to control it.

1. A Big Ego Is a Bad Version of High Self-Esteem

First, let’s identify what differentiates an ego from healthy self-esteem. In short, confidence is good, cockiness is not. Strong self-esteem means that you’re secure in your decisions and aren’t afraid to listen to ideas that are not your own. An ego is when you’re so sure of your decisions that you aren’t willing to listen to any differing opinions, so self-obsessed that you’re convinced that your opinions are the only ones worth listening to. Now let’s go into some of the ways that egos negatively affect your career.

2. Egos Turn People Off

Co-workers, clients, customers … anyone you interact with in your career is likely to be turned off by someone who acts too self-important. Managing relationships is one of the most important facets of any career, so make sure your relationships are solid. If someone you’re working with doesn’t like you, your collaborations will probably go a lot less smoothly. Shove your ego aside at least long enough that people want to be the same room as you.

3. Egos Get in the Way of Good Judgment

When you assume that your way is not just the right way but the only right way, problems tend to pop up in your career. Egotistical people are oftentimes the most ignorant, holding on to bad ideas and bad practices even when a better option is in front of them. Avoid letting your ego call the shots, so that you can make the right decisions that will further your career instead of holding it back.

4. Egos Stop You From Respecting Differing Opinions

Confident people are willing and able to listen to other people’s opinions, even happy to hear ideas better than their own. Egotistical people are scared that other people will outsmart and embarrass them, even when no one else in the room considers the conversation a competition. Don’t leap to shut down other people’s ideas. Even if you don’t like them at first, give them a little time to sink in. Look for things to praise before you start criticizing, so that you can respond to the idea with perspective instead of sheer dislike.

5. Egos Value Power Over Trust

Egotistical people think that amassing influence is the most important thing, but your authority will crumble if others don’t believe in you. Power builds from trust, so valuing power over trust is antithetical. Instead of looking for ways to gain power, organically connect with other people in your career. Make real, lasting friendships that translate into successful business relationships. That way, your career will be built on a sturdy foundation instead of a precarious house of cards.

6. Egos Are Rooted in Self-Doubt

Whereas a healthy sense of confidence is rooted in a good mental state, egos are caused by fear. You actually lack confidence in a way, so you make up for it with bravado. If what I described above seems all too familiar, you might have an ego instead of high self-esteem. Look into ways to build your resolve and strength of character. A somewhat extreme but very effective solution is cognitive-behavioral therapy, treatment with a psychiatrist that helps you face your fears and surpass them through exercises. An ego can be a truly dangerous thing, especially in your career, so be sure to take precautions that yours isn’t in control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

以下引用文章出自:

 

This Is Why You Can’t Let Your Ego Decide for Your Career

 

It’s good for you to take pride in your successes, but having too big an ego can be extremely detrimental to your career. If your actions are motivated by self-importance, then you’re doomed to fail. You might not fail right away, but ego is eventually going to catch up to you and damage your career in ways you can’t heal. Read below to learn why your ego is so dangerous, and what you can do to control it.

 

1. A Big Ego Is a Bad Version of High Self-Esteem

First, let’s identify what differentiates an ego from healthy self-esteem. In short, confidence is good, cockiness is not. Strong self-esteem means that you’re secure in your decisions and aren’t afraid to listen to ideas that are not your own. An ego is when you’re so sure of your decisions that you aren’t willing to listen to any differing opinions, so self-obsessed that you’re convinced that your opinions are the only ones worth listening to. Now let’s go into some of the ways that egos negatively affect your career.

2. Egos Turn People Off

Co-workers, clients, customers … anyone you interact with in your career is likely to be turned off by someone who acts too self-important. Managing relationships is one of the most important facets of any career, so make sure your relationships are solid. If someone you’re working with doesn’t like you, your collaborations will probably go a lot less smoothly. Shove your ego aside at least long enough that people want to be the same room as you.

3. Egos Get in the Way of Good Judgment

When you assume that your way is not just the right way but the only right way, problems tend to pop up in your career. Egotistical people are oftentimes the most ignorant, holding on to bad ideas and bad practices even when a better option is in front of them. Avoid letting your ego call the shots, so that you can make the right decisions that will further your career instead of holding it back.

4. Egos Stop You From Respecting Differing Opinions

Confident people are willing and able to listen to other people’s opinions, even happy to hear ideas better than their own. Egotistical people are scared that other people will outsmart and embarrass them, even when no one else in the room considers the conversation a competition. Don’t leap to shut down other people’s ideas. Even if you don’t like them at first, give them a little time to sink in. Look for things to praise before you start criticizing, so that you can respond to the idea with perspective instead of sheer dislike.

5. Egos Value Power Over Trust

Egotistical people think that amassing influence is the most important thing, but your authority will crumble if others don’t believe in you. Power builds from trust, so valuing power over trust is antithetical. Instead of looking for ways to gain power, organically connect with other people in your career. Make real, lasting friendships that translate into successful business relationships. That way, your career will be built on a sturdy foundation instead of a precarious house of cards.

6. Egos Are Rooted in Self-Doubt

Whereas a healthy sense of confidence is rooted in a good mental state, egos are caused by fear. You actually lack confidence in a way, so you make up for it with bravado. If what I described above seems all too familiar, you might have an ego instead of high self-esteem. Look into ways to build your resolve and strength of character. A somewhat extreme but very effective solution is cognitive-behavioral therapy, treatment with a psychiatrist that helps you face your fears and surpass them through exercises. An ego can be a truly dangerous thing, especially in your career, so be sure to take precautions that yours isn’t in control.

 

 

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